It looks like it has been awhile since my last post...life becomes busy and some things go on the back burner unfortunately. But I am back and my plan is to stick with it because writing makes me feel better. I have so many thoughts about so many things. It is hard to keep them straight sometimes. I believe we all have so much to say but we get caught up in life and stray away from our true feelings. That is what happened to me the last few months. I would think about writing but I always came up with a "good" excuse not to. In the long run it caused my mind to overflow....time to let it all out now!
In the last week my anxiety has been at an unusual high. Why? I don't know. I never know, but I always wish I did know. One thing is that I haven't been feeling well and whenever that happens that makes me feel anxious. I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac but I am not nearly as bad as I was when I was younger. I could easily convince myself that I had some major illness. Okay well that's a little extreme, but you get the point.
There have been many stages and ups and downs of my anxieties existence. I have had really calm waters and I have had hurricanes as well. A lot of times it is unpredictable, but many times I talk myself into it. I am going to start to read a book that my mom has been constantly been talking about and been wanting me to read. Throughout my life I have overcome many things I never knew I could do....I could stay satisfied with my current state. Letting my thinking pattern get the best of me at times and restrict what I want to do with my life. But as we all know..we have one life...and I have already missed out on a lot in my childhood. I do not want to miss things as an adult. So I am going to read this book and perhaps find someone to talk to. Will reading this book and talking to someone cure me? No. You aren't cured from anxiety because it is not a disease. But it will give me reassurance that I am in control of the situation and that my mind needs to be rewired along those lines.
To those of you who may think anxiety is a made up feeling or emotion...you are 100% wrong. It is very real from the thought process to the attack itself and then to the avoiding of situations for the fear of having an attack. I can understand how one can think that it is not real if you have never had one. Let me assure you that it is the scariest thing you will encounter when least expected. Because there are times you cause your own attack. But normally the first one comes out of the blue and literally feels like you are dying and not there physically. It is a very surreal feeling that is terrifying because you have never experienced that feeling before. It almost scars the mind. That is why it is sooooo important to look into books before it gets worse. Now not everyone is that sensitive and don't really think about it again. But there are people, like myself, that have a worried mind to begin with and it is not easy to overcome on my own. I am not ashamed of that because this runs in my family, anxiety. I have talked with many counselors and some have helped others not so much. Unfortunately it is a hit and miss. But please understand that it is very real. You don't have to understand it, but respect people that are anxious. It is controllable and you can help. I will get into that later.
Please stay tuned and thank you for reading.
#gottagetthruthis
No comments:
Post a Comment