If you could guess on a normal day at work or school - how many times you put a label on something or someone - what would that number be? In our society anymore there is label for everything. I find it rather annoying.....and I am very guilty at labeling as well. I know that this has existed for probably since the beinginning of time in some fashion or form. And not just labeling but judging before you really know that individual. Of course we see the outside of the person but we have no idea what is going on inside or maybe what they have been thru. I find it is a human act to do, but it isn't right or fair.
How many times have we heard stories about someone thru friends....we know who this individual is, but we have never really talked with them and we already have them labeled. Or we don't give them a chance because of what we have heard. How many times have you been guilty of that? I have. Not proud of that, but I can admit it...and I can admit that it is not right. I don't like it when people label me or try to know who I really am without talking to me.
Growing up I was a very good athlete. I could beat most boys in my class at basketball...they didn't like that too well. They also didn't like that I could throw a football better than them. See when I was little I hated losing..still do, but I hated losing to boys. When I was outside practicing they were always my opponent mentally. I never wanted a boy to think they were better than me...in anything. With this kind of ambition it would cause a lot of hurt in my world as a pre-teen. Kids get mean. I was labeled that I wanted to be a boy....that I was a "dyke" (in the 7th grade I had no idea of what that even was!).... Hurtful things....I didn't want to be a boy at all....I just wanted to beat them. As for being gay in this point in my life....non existent! I was totally boy crazy! I didn't develop those feelings for girls until later in my life. So, just because I am good at sports that makes me want to be a boy who is gay?? Hahaha, what!!?? Dumb. Lets put it this way.....lets I had been born a boy....I would have kicked their ass' a lot worse than I did being a girl. Looks like they caught a break on that one!
In my adult life I still get labled. Am I a tomboy...yes I am. I wouldn't have it any other way. Me being a tomboy or any other girl who is a tomboy does not make them gay. I know many girls who are just or more athletic than me that are and are TOTALLY straight. I am always amazed by kids that ask me if I am a boy or a girl....or they flat out stare like my skin is the color blue or something. My face by no means looks like a male...I have small features....pretty skin....the curves of my body are about the curviest I think someone my size can be. Now do I wear baseball hats....tennis shoes with just about everything....looser clothes (not baggy but not tight)....yes I do all of those things. That is me! That doesn't make me macho or less of a woman. I am still very sweet, sensitive, compassionate, soft, and have my own "characteristics" of being feminine. This world needs to understand not all woman are going to fit in this sterotype that is made up for them. I don't wear tight fitting things because I am not comfortable with that. I have never liked to dress that way. I have and I do on occassion, but does not make up my wardrobe. I have more tennis shoes than I have of any other kind of shoe. I know many of my friends who have more heels than they do of tennis shoes. We are all so different and beautiful! I am very beautiful...because I am me. If someone doesn't like it that I have short hair and like sports...and would rather be in jeans than a dress when going out...then screw them. I will never change for anyone in regards to them not liking who I really am.
The other night I was out with some friends at a pretty popular bar. It was getting late and I went up to pay my bill. I had to stand at the end of the bar until I got the bartenders attention...in the meantime there were a group of guys to my left. I am standing there minding my own business....I saw one guy turn around and look at me from the corner of my eye. So I turned to look at him. He turned back around towards his friends and mad a face....one of his friends looked at me and started laughing. Really? Now what was said I couldn't tell you, but I am guessing it wasn't nice because I am not the typical girl they would find attractive. And you know that is fine, because if I was attracted to a man they would not be one of them. There is way more than meets the eye. The funny thing is...is they only see the shell of me. The see the hat...the hoodie I was wearing (came from playing a soccer game)...adidas pants....tennis shoes....no not what the typical girl would wear. But they take the time to look at my eyes? My smile? No....because they want to see the "sexiest" parts of a woman. The sexiest part on a woman is unique among all of us. We all have boobs and butts...but there is always one thing that makes a woman sexy that doesn't make another. "She's not another pretty face. She's got everything it takes." I guess I am that kind of woman. Keep coming with the labels and pre-judgements...because in the end I am the one that wins because....I am me and comfortable in my skin.
"I AM NO BEAUTY QUEEN....I AM JUST BEAUTIFUL ME."
Very random post today....lots of different things on my mind. Sorry! :)
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
My way
First I want to wish everyone Happy Thanksgiving! We all have so much to be thankful for. I really hope that the day was great and the food was even better!
In my previous blog I stated that I would talk about how I would have handle this situation as being the head coach. Here's a little background about my coaching journey. I started coaching soccer when I was 19 as a volunteer at my high school. I did that for a couple of years for both the boys and girls teams. I eventually got certified so I could become a head coach or a coach that could get paid....take on more responsibility in other words. My last semester in college I coached my college's jv soccer team. In 2008 I was a head coach at one of our local high schools for 3 years until I had to resign due to my job at the time. Time become available this past spring for me to help out at the same high school when I could. And finally this past summer I have picked up coaching a U-11 girls traveling team. I have many great experiences mixed within these years with lots of great memories, and I have some that weren't so great. But that is the job and comes with the terrority.
I think many people think coaching is easy and that just anybody can do it. Well they are very wrong and that is farther from the truth. Coaching is demanding physically, mentally, and emotionally! You may not be the one training but you have to be the one to find the right things to make your team click and be successful. Not only that but you have parents that you have to deal with....refs that drive you crazy on the field or court....all the extra hours you put in when not in front of the team. But win or lose....it is all worth it.
Now how I would have handled my situation my freshamn year (FYI this coach knew that I was coming to that school and that I was attending camp)
If I was in the middle of talking to my girls before our first day of camp...coming into high school and a new person came strolling in late I would have made eye contact with them and their parents. Perhaps a nod with a smile so that they knew I saw them. I am pretty good at reading body language...and I am sure that on that day mine was crazy.....I would make it a point to talk to that person before she got started with the team.
Lets say she finally made her way to the group and took a seat....I would have probably introduced her to everyone so she didn't feel like such an outsider. Once we had broke into our stations I would have pulled her aside and walked with her to her parents standing by the stairs. i would have introduced myself and stated how excited we are to have them join us this summer and for the season. Bascially I would try to calm the nerves down and gain her trust. Not to be her friend, but to be there for her. In my opinion the more you communicate with your players about the sport or other interests they like...the more they will respect you. This girl would have only been 14! Why scare the crap out of her more?
Now we move on to actual coaching at the station. It is her turn....and she doesn't quite do it the way I would like her to. She fumbles around a little. I would ask her to try it again or I would let the first time go and watch for the second time to see if it was just nerves. Lets say it happened again. I would for sure correct her, but in a manner that is not degrading but useful. I would ask if she understand and we would go thru it slow once and then game speed. Okay and she still kinda screws it up....I AM NOT AND WOULD NOT EVER YELL AT SOMEONE ON THE FIRST DAY. I would correct her again...try again and she what happens. The drill would be played out and eventually we would have a water break. I would pull her aside and review it on a one on one bases or maybe after camp where it is not in front of all these new peers. The only time I ever yell is when it is something that I have said from day one......and we are still not doing it right 2 months later. By that time we should have a clue what we are doing. If I saw that at any moment she was getting worked up I as a coach would calm her down. Why tear any kid down for trying?
And that is how I would have handled the situation.
I have had kids come from different cities to play....different schools...and kids brand new to the sport but go to school with the kids. Being new is being new whether it is completely new enivroment like a new city or a new sport. You may have Algebra with these girls and rock at it, but you are going out for a sport that you have never really done and those girls rock at that.....as a coach I have to find that common ground of respect for them to find within each other. I do not make a big deal out of someone being new...I do not baby them...but I keep my eye on them and their transition. Maybe they aren't the best player I have ever seen.....I will still coach to the best of my ability to make them the best they can be as long as they are trying their hardest. We can't fail in that situation. Those coaches at Alleman wanted respect, but did a very poor job at giving it back to their players....even their best players on varsity. I have vowed that I would never become a coach like them or some others that I have had in my past. I never want to make a player of mine feel not welcomed or uncomfortable...then I am not doing my job. Playing sports is about having fun and learning.
In my previous blog I stated that I would talk about how I would have handle this situation as being the head coach. Here's a little background about my coaching journey. I started coaching soccer when I was 19 as a volunteer at my high school. I did that for a couple of years for both the boys and girls teams. I eventually got certified so I could become a head coach or a coach that could get paid....take on more responsibility in other words. My last semester in college I coached my college's jv soccer team. In 2008 I was a head coach at one of our local high schools for 3 years until I had to resign due to my job at the time. Time become available this past spring for me to help out at the same high school when I could. And finally this past summer I have picked up coaching a U-11 girls traveling team. I have many great experiences mixed within these years with lots of great memories, and I have some that weren't so great. But that is the job and comes with the terrority.
I think many people think coaching is easy and that just anybody can do it. Well they are very wrong and that is farther from the truth. Coaching is demanding physically, mentally, and emotionally! You may not be the one training but you have to be the one to find the right things to make your team click and be successful. Not only that but you have parents that you have to deal with....refs that drive you crazy on the field or court....all the extra hours you put in when not in front of the team. But win or lose....it is all worth it.
Now how I would have handled my situation my freshamn year (FYI this coach knew that I was coming to that school and that I was attending camp)
If I was in the middle of talking to my girls before our first day of camp...coming into high school and a new person came strolling in late I would have made eye contact with them and their parents. Perhaps a nod with a smile so that they knew I saw them. I am pretty good at reading body language...and I am sure that on that day mine was crazy.....I would make it a point to talk to that person before she got started with the team.
Lets say she finally made her way to the group and took a seat....I would have probably introduced her to everyone so she didn't feel like such an outsider. Once we had broke into our stations I would have pulled her aside and walked with her to her parents standing by the stairs. i would have introduced myself and stated how excited we are to have them join us this summer and for the season. Bascially I would try to calm the nerves down and gain her trust. Not to be her friend, but to be there for her. In my opinion the more you communicate with your players about the sport or other interests they like...the more they will respect you. This girl would have only been 14! Why scare the crap out of her more?
Now we move on to actual coaching at the station. It is her turn....and she doesn't quite do it the way I would like her to. She fumbles around a little. I would ask her to try it again or I would let the first time go and watch for the second time to see if it was just nerves. Lets say it happened again. I would for sure correct her, but in a manner that is not degrading but useful. I would ask if she understand and we would go thru it slow once and then game speed. Okay and she still kinda screws it up....I AM NOT AND WOULD NOT EVER YELL AT SOMEONE ON THE FIRST DAY. I would correct her again...try again and she what happens. The drill would be played out and eventually we would have a water break. I would pull her aside and review it on a one on one bases or maybe after camp where it is not in front of all these new peers. The only time I ever yell is when it is something that I have said from day one......and we are still not doing it right 2 months later. By that time we should have a clue what we are doing. If I saw that at any moment she was getting worked up I as a coach would calm her down. Why tear any kid down for trying?
And that is how I would have handled the situation.
I have had kids come from different cities to play....different schools...and kids brand new to the sport but go to school with the kids. Being new is being new whether it is completely new enivroment like a new city or a new sport. You may have Algebra with these girls and rock at it, but you are going out for a sport that you have never really done and those girls rock at that.....as a coach I have to find that common ground of respect for them to find within each other. I do not make a big deal out of someone being new...I do not baby them...but I keep my eye on them and their transition. Maybe they aren't the best player I have ever seen.....I will still coach to the best of my ability to make them the best they can be as long as they are trying their hardest. We can't fail in that situation. Those coaches at Alleman wanted respect, but did a very poor job at giving it back to their players....even their best players on varsity. I have vowed that I would never become a coach like them or some others that I have had in my past. I never want to make a player of mine feel not welcomed or uncomfortable...then I am not doing my job. Playing sports is about having fun and learning.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Basketball camp Part 2...
I can remember the smell of that gym....feel the humidity on my skin......my heart either has stopped or has pumped sooo hard out of my chest that I'm freaking out! The smell in the air was like a new polished gym floor with a mixture of an older building that has had some history take place in it. As my dad and I are making our way thru the lobby entrance I see some of the girls turn and look at me. Maybe they could hear my heart beating that loud...I don't know. We made our way to the entrance of the gym and everyone was at the other end. To the right of the entrance was stairs leading to the upper part of the gym. My dad told me he would sit there for a bit and told me to join the group. I am sure I gave him a look like you are crazy! I looked at him....took a second...and turned to my left with my water bottle in hand walked towards the group.
I can't recall if I walked really fast to the group or slow. But somehow I got there.....don't really remember. As I was about half way there the head coach and I made eye contact....I lost my stomach...it just sank! Once he looked up at me the majority of the girls turned around to see what he was looking at....it was me....the new kid. I did one of those "Hhhheeyyyy" kinda smiles that are fake. Very awkward moment. Once I got to the back of the group....I started to sit down to join them....and mid-sit....they got up and everyone got on the baseline to start off the drills.
I jogged to the baseline with the rest of the girls...put my water bottle on the stage and got my spot in line. No one said hi to me...they did those look you up and down then smile looks. It was great...from like 25 girls or more. Big motivating moment there! I felt like the size of ant compared to these girls with my confidence and being new. I tried not to show it, but I am sure I couldn't hide all of it. Anyways, they numbered us off for different stations. I can't remember what number I was but I know that I was at the basket to the right if you are facing opposite of the stage.
At this station we were working on a pump fake then a shot. Pretty easy. I had done tons and tons of pump fakes by this point in my career. The coach at our station is talking but I'm not really listening because I have all these thoughts running thru my head. The biggest thought was "What are they thinking about me?" All my focus was on myself and my inner emotions. The President of the United States could have walked right in front of me and I would have not noticed. We finally get to my turn to do the fake. So I do what everyone else did, but I get stopped and told to try it again. The coach corrected me on something, but again I couldn't tell you what that was because now I am already getting criticized after arriving late on my first day. I was ready to just cry....just cry cry cry cry. She got done speaking and I tried again......apparently I didn't do it right again. She got down to my level which was probably 5'3 and she was I bet 5'10.....got in my face and started yelling at me. Yes yelling! That was my breaking point. I put the ball on the gym floor and walked out the side door by the stage and started balling my eyes out. I was doing that cry where you try to talk and breathe at the same time....yeah that bad. I was upset that I was in a new enviroment....that we ended up being late....and top it off getting yelled at the first time I touch a ball in front of them. My dad was still sitting on the stairs at this point.
As I was out there...the girl who I shadowed the day I visited came out to talk to me. That was very nice of her. She calmed me down a little. We just talked. After about twenty minutes of talking and calming down I got the courage to go back in. My dad had left and I had missed all of the stations. I didn't look at anyone when I came back in, but I could feel a hundred eyes on me. I have had bad days in my life.....but this is in the top three. In my next blog I am going to talk about how everything could have been handled different. I am a coach and I will express how I would have handled the whole situation had I been in charge.
Life goes on....but in those moments....it seems like your life is an eternity!
I can't recall if I walked really fast to the group or slow. But somehow I got there.....don't really remember. As I was about half way there the head coach and I made eye contact....I lost my stomach...it just sank! Once he looked up at me the majority of the girls turned around to see what he was looking at....it was me....the new kid. I did one of those "Hhhheeyyyy" kinda smiles that are fake. Very awkward moment. Once I got to the back of the group....I started to sit down to join them....and mid-sit....they got up and everyone got on the baseline to start off the drills.
I jogged to the baseline with the rest of the girls...put my water bottle on the stage and got my spot in line. No one said hi to me...they did those look you up and down then smile looks. It was great...from like 25 girls or more. Big motivating moment there! I felt like the size of ant compared to these girls with my confidence and being new. I tried not to show it, but I am sure I couldn't hide all of it. Anyways, they numbered us off for different stations. I can't remember what number I was but I know that I was at the basket to the right if you are facing opposite of the stage.
At this station we were working on a pump fake then a shot. Pretty easy. I had done tons and tons of pump fakes by this point in my career. The coach at our station is talking but I'm not really listening because I have all these thoughts running thru my head. The biggest thought was "What are they thinking about me?" All my focus was on myself and my inner emotions. The President of the United States could have walked right in front of me and I would have not noticed. We finally get to my turn to do the fake. So I do what everyone else did, but I get stopped and told to try it again. The coach corrected me on something, but again I couldn't tell you what that was because now I am already getting criticized after arriving late on my first day. I was ready to just cry....just cry cry cry cry. She got done speaking and I tried again......apparently I didn't do it right again. She got down to my level which was probably 5'3 and she was I bet 5'10.....got in my face and started yelling at me. Yes yelling! That was my breaking point. I put the ball on the gym floor and walked out the side door by the stage and started balling my eyes out. I was doing that cry where you try to talk and breathe at the same time....yeah that bad. I was upset that I was in a new enviroment....that we ended up being late....and top it off getting yelled at the first time I touch a ball in front of them. My dad was still sitting on the stairs at this point.
As I was out there...the girl who I shadowed the day I visited came out to talk to me. That was very nice of her. She calmed me down a little. We just talked. After about twenty minutes of talking and calming down I got the courage to go back in. My dad had left and I had missed all of the stations. I didn't look at anyone when I came back in, but I could feel a hundred eyes on me. I have had bad days in my life.....but this is in the top three. In my next blog I am going to talk about how everything could have been handled different. I am a coach and I will express how I would have handled the whole situation had I been in charge.
Life goes on....but in those moments....it seems like your life is an eternity!
Monday, November 19, 2012
A very sad topic
I was going to write part 2 of basketball camp, but something hit home this afternoon that I need to get off my mind. A friend of mine from high school - her in law took his own life Sunday. I do not know this individual at all...but I have lost someone very close to me who did the same.
I didn't want to get into this topic so early on in my blog, but things happen you need to let emotions out. I feel very very bad for his family and closest friends. The pain they are going thru is unreal. Death (natural) alone is sad and it is hard to those still living to cope and go about their daily routine. However, when someone decides to take their own life...that is on a whole other level. Your life is never the same...
My friend died almost 5 1/2 years ago in June. Something that was so unexpected as it usually is. Now at some point I think the majority of people have thought about suicide. Not on the same terms as the individuals but that thought has presented itself and that majority of us push that thought away..make things better....and move on with our life. I will never understand how depressed one can be to do this. Or how bad their life can actually be that by taking their own life is a better idea. What they don't realize or understand is those surviving....that they will live in so much grief because they had to be selfish.
Being depressed is no joke and is very real. Suicide is very real as well. It is almost too real nowadays. Life is so precious. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my friend. I think about what I could have done differently if I just would have known. I knew that he was struggling and was depressed somewhat, but I had no idea it was THAT bad. That it was so bad that he couldn't talk to me about. That night is such a blur that it is so clear. I know that makes no sense at all. The best way I can describe that is it was soooo slow moving and surreal....that I remember everything about that night. I remember leaving a voicemail on his phone because we were suppose to meet up that night....to falling asleep but hearing his phone call (he had his own ringtone) and me saying to myself I will just call him when I get up.....to being a sleep for a couple hours when a phone call from my mom woke me up around 11pm telling me my best friend had shot himself and that it was bad......to arriving at the hospital and approaching our mutual group of friends....grown men crying and needing help walking.....his dad falling into my arms......going into the room to see him and holding his moms hand while looking at him hooked up to machines....to listening to the voicemail that he left me when he had called.....to getting home and laying on the couch and thinking what really just happened. Is this real? I can call him tomorrow, right? The worst was calling friends that had no idea that this had happened. See these are things that THOSE people don't think about....the ones left behind and dealing with such a tragedy. There is no GOOD reason to take your own life.
The first couple years after were rough. I don't know if it was so rough because I missed him (well I did) but because how he died and how he did it. I think that sticks in my mind more than anything. I can handle that he has died, but that he took his own life....I don't know if I will ever actually grasp that idea. He is in my dreams time to time...I try to ask him if I can remember while dreaming why. But I normally just get a smile or he just ignores me and is gone. He did not leave a note so we don't have an explanation.....that is what stings the most. All I can say is he better be happy with his decision because he is missing out on amazing things. So many of his friends have gotten married and are having children. His nephews have gotten so big and getting older. But they only see what they want to see unfortunately.
Please do not take suicide lightly with anyone who jokes or makes references about it. The more communication the better. I never want anyone to go thru what I did....it is horrifying to say the least. I try to pray for his parents every night to this day. They have gotten better, but I still can see the sadness in their eyes. He broke their hearts. Tell your loved ones to always talk talk talk!!! That they never have to fear of talking...about anything!! Nothing to be ashamed of...just talk.....!
I didn't want to get into this topic so early on in my blog, but things happen you need to let emotions out. I feel very very bad for his family and closest friends. The pain they are going thru is unreal. Death (natural) alone is sad and it is hard to those still living to cope and go about their daily routine. However, when someone decides to take their own life...that is on a whole other level. Your life is never the same...
My friend died almost 5 1/2 years ago in June. Something that was so unexpected as it usually is. Now at some point I think the majority of people have thought about suicide. Not on the same terms as the individuals but that thought has presented itself and that majority of us push that thought away..make things better....and move on with our life. I will never understand how depressed one can be to do this. Or how bad their life can actually be that by taking their own life is a better idea. What they don't realize or understand is those surviving....that they will live in so much grief because they had to be selfish.
Being depressed is no joke and is very real. Suicide is very real as well. It is almost too real nowadays. Life is so precious. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my friend. I think about what I could have done differently if I just would have known. I knew that he was struggling and was depressed somewhat, but I had no idea it was THAT bad. That it was so bad that he couldn't talk to me about. That night is such a blur that it is so clear. I know that makes no sense at all. The best way I can describe that is it was soooo slow moving and surreal....that I remember everything about that night. I remember leaving a voicemail on his phone because we were suppose to meet up that night....to falling asleep but hearing his phone call (he had his own ringtone) and me saying to myself I will just call him when I get up.....to being a sleep for a couple hours when a phone call from my mom woke me up around 11pm telling me my best friend had shot himself and that it was bad......to arriving at the hospital and approaching our mutual group of friends....grown men crying and needing help walking.....his dad falling into my arms......going into the room to see him and holding his moms hand while looking at him hooked up to machines....to listening to the voicemail that he left me when he had called.....to getting home and laying on the couch and thinking what really just happened. Is this real? I can call him tomorrow, right? The worst was calling friends that had no idea that this had happened. See these are things that THOSE people don't think about....the ones left behind and dealing with such a tragedy. There is no GOOD reason to take your own life.
The first couple years after were rough. I don't know if it was so rough because I missed him (well I did) but because how he died and how he did it. I think that sticks in my mind more than anything. I can handle that he has died, but that he took his own life....I don't know if I will ever actually grasp that idea. He is in my dreams time to time...I try to ask him if I can remember while dreaming why. But I normally just get a smile or he just ignores me and is gone. He did not leave a note so we don't have an explanation.....that is what stings the most. All I can say is he better be happy with his decision because he is missing out on amazing things. So many of his friends have gotten married and are having children. His nephews have gotten so big and getting older. But they only see what they want to see unfortunately.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
First day of basketball camp 1996...Part 1...
It was the summer that the Chicago Bulls beat the Seattle Supersonics while holding the best record in history. They had a total of 72 wins and lost only 10. That is pretty darn good! I loved the Bulls and I loved basketball just as much. When I was practicing in the background I would always imagine I was Michael Jordan making that last second shot. He was so much fun to watch...the whole team was. In opinion that is when basketball was enjoyable. I can remember after they won we banged pots and pans outside...it was great! But moving to foreign terrority wasn't looking like it was going to be much fun. That night after the game I went back to the Quad Cities with my dad to start basketball camp at Alleman High School.
I had mixed emotions about the move. When I visited Alleman that winter I had a great experience and I really liked it. I can remember telling my classmates at St. Thomas how excited I was as the majority would be going to school together at Peoria Notre Dame. However, I was also wanting to be with the kids that I had always gone to school with and with the girls I was used to playing against in soccer and basketball.
My dad was living in Davenport, IA...in a duplex. It was nice. We would be moving the next month to our new house. But the biggest day was the next day....first day of camp. I remember getting everything laid out for the morning. I was very nervous! I was a shy and timid kid...I didn't adapt well to change. This was a huge change. But I rolled with the punches and took it on the best I could. I thought as long as I have my parents there everything is going to be fine.
I woke up pretty early. I had a good breakfast. My dad and I talked basketball like we always did. We talked about our 8th grade season at St.Thomas and the memories we had made. He had coached that year. I would be playing with some of those girls at Alleman that we had played at our Diocesan Tournament. We had beat on of the teams early on and had lost to the other school in the championship game. That tournament is a whole other blog. Anyways, I was quite nervous about how they would take me in. I think that would be any 14 year olds fear that is new.
The plan was to get to the gym early to get familiar with the enivroment. Perhaps get a chance to talk to some of the girls and the coaches....warm up a little. I guess to take some of those jitters away. We had left in plenty of time. We were going to take I74 bridge, but as we approached there was a long line to get onto the ramp....the line was not moving due to construction that was not going on the day before. Where the duplex was located that would have been the fastest way to the high school. But not in a panic my dad turned around and headed to the Arsenal Bridge. The Arsenal has barges that come and go. As we were approaching the bridge traffic was moving. That was a huge relief for me. We had to go down the block to turn around to get to the bridge because of a one way....as we made our way onto the bridge....traffic was slowing down...eventually to a complete stop. Yes you guessed right....a barge. REALLY!!! My dad couldn't believe it. Since there were no cars coming from the other direction he reversed the car and headed to our last option...the Centennial Bridge.
At this point while traveling to the bridge I was becoming more and more anxious time was slipping. We had ten minutes to get there...on time! At this time the Centennial had tows so traffic at this time in the morning was a little jammed. People trying to get to work etc. The whole time my dad was reassuring me that everything was going to be okay. But I was ready to throw up. I remember driving thru Rock Island which was all very new (but very familiar today) listening to The Beatles. (They were my favorite band at this time.) The song "Fool on the Hill" was playing.....I can remember feeling so sad and scared. Everytime I hear that song today I can feel that same feeling. Was I the fool? I don't know.
We sat in the front of the school for a minute. I did not want to go in there. You couldn't pay me! Some how I got enough courage to get out of the car....walked to the gym doors with my dad by my side. The doors were open becaue it was so hot...I could see all the girls sitting on the floor while the coach was talking to them. I wanted to turn back and go home...home to Peoria. At this point I did not want to move. I wanted to play with my girls...the girls from the other Catholic schools that I had wanted to play with in high school. An example of how chaotic and panicked I felt was like The Beatles song "A Day in the Life" when the orchestra goes crazy. That is the best decription I can give. Listening to that part makes your heart race...well mine does anyway.
Before I take a step in the building a look up at my dad....he smiled for reassurance. And I walked in..........
I had mixed emotions about the move. When I visited Alleman that winter I had a great experience and I really liked it. I can remember telling my classmates at St. Thomas how excited I was as the majority would be going to school together at Peoria Notre Dame. However, I was also wanting to be with the kids that I had always gone to school with and with the girls I was used to playing against in soccer and basketball.
My dad was living in Davenport, IA...in a duplex. It was nice. We would be moving the next month to our new house. But the biggest day was the next day....first day of camp. I remember getting everything laid out for the morning. I was very nervous! I was a shy and timid kid...I didn't adapt well to change. This was a huge change. But I rolled with the punches and took it on the best I could. I thought as long as I have my parents there everything is going to be fine.
I woke up pretty early. I had a good breakfast. My dad and I talked basketball like we always did. We talked about our 8th grade season at St.Thomas and the memories we had made. He had coached that year. I would be playing with some of those girls at Alleman that we had played at our Diocesan Tournament. We had beat on of the teams early on and had lost to the other school in the championship game. That tournament is a whole other blog. Anyways, I was quite nervous about how they would take me in. I think that would be any 14 year olds fear that is new.
The plan was to get to the gym early to get familiar with the enivroment. Perhaps get a chance to talk to some of the girls and the coaches....warm up a little. I guess to take some of those jitters away. We had left in plenty of time. We were going to take I74 bridge, but as we approached there was a long line to get onto the ramp....the line was not moving due to construction that was not going on the day before. Where the duplex was located that would have been the fastest way to the high school. But not in a panic my dad turned around and headed to the Arsenal Bridge. The Arsenal has barges that come and go. As we were approaching the bridge traffic was moving. That was a huge relief for me. We had to go down the block to turn around to get to the bridge because of a one way....as we made our way onto the bridge....traffic was slowing down...eventually to a complete stop. Yes you guessed right....a barge. REALLY!!! My dad couldn't believe it. Since there were no cars coming from the other direction he reversed the car and headed to our last option...the Centennial Bridge.
At this point while traveling to the bridge I was becoming more and more anxious time was slipping. We had ten minutes to get there...on time! At this time the Centennial had tows so traffic at this time in the morning was a little jammed. People trying to get to work etc. The whole time my dad was reassuring me that everything was going to be okay. But I was ready to throw up. I remember driving thru Rock Island which was all very new (but very familiar today) listening to The Beatles. (They were my favorite band at this time.) The song "Fool on the Hill" was playing.....I can remember feeling so sad and scared. Everytime I hear that song today I can feel that same feeling. Was I the fool? I don't know.
We sat in the front of the school for a minute. I did not want to go in there. You couldn't pay me! Some how I got enough courage to get out of the car....walked to the gym doors with my dad by my side. The doors were open becaue it was so hot...I could see all the girls sitting on the floor while the coach was talking to them. I wanted to turn back and go home...home to Peoria. At this point I did not want to move. I wanted to play with my girls...the girls from the other Catholic schools that I had wanted to play with in high school. An example of how chaotic and panicked I felt was like The Beatles song "A Day in the Life" when the orchestra goes crazy. That is the best decription I can give. Listening to that part makes your heart race...well mine does anyway.
Welcome!
Welcome family and friends to my blog! I had a blog about 6 years ago and didn't keep up with it well. But I have learned over the years that I have a lot to say and Facebook isn't always the place to say it. Too many opinions about your thoughts and beliefs. On here I am just going to write and honestly not care what other people think. It is a great way to get things off your mind rather than keep them bottled up inside. I hope you check in from time to time...
Abbie
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